The whole experience of traveling is something to behold. The airport is somewhere it is suddenly acceptable to treat people like cattle and we just accept it. We even have the nylon ‘herding lines’ that keep us in order and we just mindlessly follow them. If President Bush is still thinking about building a fence along the US/Mexico border, all he would need to do is put up these nylon ‘ropes’ and those pesky Mexicans will stay put. Nobody crosses these lines.
Next are the signs of things that are absolutely FORBIDDEN to have with you while you pass through security: there is a picture of a gun, a knife, a bomb, and a bottle of water. Yes, a bottle of water has gotten to the point where it is as threatening as the previously posted. Nice world we are living in, eh?
Once you get to your seat, I find it interesting how your seat really isn’t your seat but it is a handle for the person behind you. How is it that people become completely oblivious to the fact that you are sitting in front of them and grab onto YOUR seat as a means of getting up? There you are, sitting quietly with your book, your head propped up with that crazy pillow with the paper pillowcase, trying to not touch anything and FLING!! You get propelled forward because the jackass behind you decides that he has to go to the bathroom. I understand that it is a tight squeeze but really? You don’t know that I am sitting there?
My 3rd least favorite part of flying is when they announce: ‘we have no begun our decent into…’ It is nothing but a big fat trick and I am onto them. From this moment, you can count on another 20 minutes of pure and utter boredom because it is from this announcement that you must turn off all electrical devices, put your seat back into it’s upright position (up from the inch and a half you had it ‘reclined’ to) and basically stare straight ahead and do nothing. This part of the flight seems to take the longest and I despise it.
My 2nd least favorite part of flying is after we land, and the fasten seat belt light goes off everyone stands up. Thing is, there is only room for a limited number of people in the isle and most people are standing up all awkwardly beneath those weird little air conditioner openings with their necks all craned at an angle. Why stand up? I can see it if you get yourself into the isle and have a stretch, but stand up only to stand bent? Why bother?
My LEAST favorite thing about flying takes place inside the airport at the baggage carousel. Why is it that people need to jam themselves right up to the edge of the carousel creating an impenetrable wall of people? If you do happen to catch a glimpse of your bag, there is no way to get at it. People seem like they are staking claim to land or something and are very reluctant to move even an inch to as allow you space to get your bag.
I have adopted 2 strategies at the baggage claim: The first one is to go to a low traffic area at the carousel. Often that is about as far away from where the bags enter as you can get. Nobody stands there for some reason so it is usually easy access to plucking your bag from the belt.
The 2nd strategy is pure bullish and belligerent behavior. If I can’t get to an open space and I see my bag, I say excuse me politely once to get close to the belt. If they don’t budge, I say it again louder this time, but still politely. If they don’t move again, it is game on. I will then bull my way in, grab my bag (which is always heavy) and just pull it off with no regard for the land claimers around me. This action typically results in hitting one, if not two, of the land claimers on either side of me. I can’t control the thing, nor do I care if I do. Now you can imagine how much space I would need when it is my golf clubs that are coming off. I sometimes can nail three in one shot with those suckers and I am kind of happy that I did. If they are too stupid to clear out when they see me reach for that sucker, they deserve it. Often this act incites a dirty look or two, but I am ready for it so I give them the stink eye right back. As far as I am concerned they asked for it.
If everyone just took two giant steps backwards the whole experience at the baggage claim would be much easier for everyone. For those who feel the need to be in the front would STILL be in the front, but it would give those people behind them access to the belt when they see their bag. It would also save their shins from getting whacked from people like me who takes pleasure in tagging the nitwits jammed tight to the belt.
1 comment:
Too funny.
I have discussed the baggage claim with other people. If everyone would just stand back until they see their baggage, it works a lot better. I've just given up to the point I sit in a chair and wait for the herd to thin.
I HATE airports.
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