Don't you just love it? I know I do...well, I used to...I still do, but what are they teaching those people these days? Isn't massage supposed to take place in a calm, serene atmosphere with peaceful music and low lighting and limited disturbance?
Three massages ago I had 'Alex'. I walked out of there feeling more slapped around then I did massaged.
Two massages ago I had 'Ashely'. Sounds like a nice, calm, gentle name, right? Wrong. Ashley had a bit of...well a lot of a weight problem to go along with a huge style issue. Her hair was cheaply dyed blue and it hung longer in the front in that: 'A Flock of Seagulls' kind of way. Apparently she is a rocker.
In the end the massage room was far too small for the both of us and the table kept getting knocked around as a result. Not very peaceful nor was she that good of a therapist...similar style to Alex in fact.
Today I had Tanya. A no nonsense black women who seemed to view the parts of the body as a bit of a search and destroy mission. It was good in the sense that she wasn't going to let some pesky knot beat her, but I also knew right from the beginning that there would be lots of pain involved. I was right.
She was into it and really tried to get the "brick"out of my right trapezoid, but in the end time ran out, thank god. That wasn't the real issue though. I have never been pulled, twisted, bent, and yanked on so much in my life! One of her favorites seemed to be to wrap a towel around the wrist and pull the arm until borderline dislocation. What kind of technique is that?
I will admit, however that I am feeling pretty nimble. Sore and beat up, but nimble. It was 107*F today, and you will have to excuse me, I am about to submerge myself in a hot bath laced with Epsom Salt...Tanya's orders.
2 comments:
Massages for a guy for the most part fall into 2 categories; fantasy and reality. The fantasy obviously includes a never ending massage performed by some kind of James Bond co-star vixen or perhaps a Charlize Theron type adjacent to a palm tree filled pink sand beach while in reality there is, well, reality - which sex do you have perform the massage? If you go the Dude route and....well, just see the Seinfeld "I had some movement" episode. If you go the female route, she can't be too hot looking, or have hands of gold or smell amazing or have hair that falls all over you...or... ok, I think you see where this is heading.
For me, I'll stick with the jacuzzi and a cold one!
Bermuda 86*F
Haha, it is quite a conundrum for you men isn't it?
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