Well, you can see the title...that is where I am at. To be honest with you, the time has gone by quite quickly and my spirits have been pretty good until today when I had a little meltdown.
I went to the Dr. yesterday and got my fiberglass cast cut off and was put into an air boot cast. I knew I was getting it, but was hoping that the Dr. would tell me to start bearing more and more weight every day and in a few days I would be rid of the crutches...no such luck. 20 lbs of weight is the allotment of weight I am allowed to bear, and for the duration of my cast time. I am not quite sure how that is supposed to work anyway...I mean how do you go from bearing 20 lbs of weight to no cast to full on walking?
The advantages of the air boot are as follows: you can take it off and sleep almost like a normal person, you can clean and shave the leg, and there is some weight I can bare (20 lbs allowed) so I can get around on my crutches a little quicker. However, overall the cast is much heavier, it takes a bit of time to put it on and take it off and when it is off, it is just another thing to carry around. *sigh* only two weeks to go.
The last 4 weeks have been a learning experience, a workout, but mostly just a lot of frustration. I have gotten the bathing down to a science and it has become quite comfortable. In the morning I pack my backpack with my clothes for the day and everything I might need so I can minimize the number of trips up and down the stairs. Once I am out of the bath I stuff my pj's in there and tote it around until I go back down stairs for the night. It has proven to be a pretty good system so far.
I seriously never thought being on crutches would have been as difficult as it is. I mean, the leg itself isn't much of a problem, but the knee has been the issue, so as soon as that started to feel better, the 'crutching' around has become less stressful because the knocks and bangs aren't as painful. Regardless, you just can't carry a thing and getting up and off the couch to go to the bathroom is a bit of an undertaking. The palm of my hands are constantly sore, I have two huge callouses on them and the one on the right hand is now peeling. I am now starting to feel numbness in some of my fingers as a result of the constant pressure on my hands. The first few 'steps' in the morning are always the worst and most painful for my hands.
Early on it was tough with Billy when he had the middle of the night diarreha return. It was within the first week and my knee was still really bad so just getting the blankets on and off was painful. Suddenly I had to do it about 5 times in one night in the middle of the night to try to get him out quickly so he wouldn't make a mess on the floor. The first trip or two we got out to the grass, but after that it seemed like he just couldn't get there so he did his business in the garage. My sister wasn't happy, but it was all I could do to even get him there. I felt bad.
That is another thing that you don't consider when you see someone 'crutching' around is their emotional state. Physically it is a disappointment and frustration, but emotionally it is as bad or worse. I am not used to having anyone around and having people do things for me. In fact, I have always felt kind of odd having people cater to me. In this state, it is basically a requirement so I am constantly feeling guilty or bad about having to ask for things and have people do things for me. Then there is the frustration factor about not being capable of doing the simple things quickly--everything just takes that much more time and I am about sick of it.
Taking care and managing Billy is another great source of frustration. He is doing pretty well with the house training, but he isn't perfect. If I was able bodied he would be near perfect because I would be able to take him out a lot more frequently. Fortunately he has a nice kennel to spend time with his cousin Tommy in and he is quite happy out there for a lot of the day. I do miss him though and I am really looking forward to working with him on the leash and taking him for walks again.
As far as the rehab has gone, I have been going to physio for a few weeks to a. get the range of motion back in my knee, and b. try to regain strength in my quad. It is amazing how quickly the muscles have atrophied. My leg is really skinny and feels as weak as t looks. Now that I have my cast off my calf is as skinny as can be as well. Because I have yet to have an MRI on my knee, we are still unclear as to the state of the ACL. The Dr. thinks it is a partial tear only and not severed which means no surgery. Until the diagnosis is made properly, the rehab has to be done under the pretense that the ACL IS in bad shape in order to not risk further injury if it isn't.
As of now I am just trying to wiggle and flex my right ankle as much as possible in order to get some range back. Being in the cast for 4 weeks has made my tendons and ligaments in my ankle sore and any movement is painful and difficult. It is better today than it was yesterday and if it continues to improve in similar increments, I will be in good shape in a few weeks.
Here are a few pix of my leg fresh out of the cast and about to get it's first shave in 4 weeks:
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